Friday, January 28, 2005

The "if" ghost

originally uploaded by slandete.

"Every year is getting shorter, never seem to find the time
Plans that either come to naught or a half page of scribbled lines

(Pink Floyd, "Time", see the lyrics here)

It has been around a year since I began writing this web log, and looking back I have been thinking about the past year. I was wondering: What would have happened if...? Did I do right when I chose to...?

Had my decisisions being other,
had I been stronger,
had I found the courage,
had I known better...
...where would I be?

In a strange (in me) surge of optimism I came to the conclussion that had I been all of that I would not be myself but someone stronger, wiser, etc. and I do not mind where that other person (better than me in so many ways) is, I care where I am now for it is being myself what has led me here. That is all that matters, not the achievements of a ghost that does what I do not dare doing and knows what I do not know and that everytime that I meet a life decision chooses to do whatever I do not choose.
It is not that we can not learn anything from the past, we actually should think about our choices and extract valuable information. But we certainly should not torment ourselves thinking over it again and again. Whatever is done can not be changed, but keep in mind that from now on all the possibilities are open.

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